leaving netherlands

my time here in the low country has seen more inside time than any other country that i have visited. i have felt really unproductive and such inactivity usually makes me feel a little uneasy and is accompanied with guilty feelings; however, i don't suffer from any kind of feeling such as that but what i do feel is regret for having come here at a time when at it has done is rain and be cold and windy. my third time to amsterdam and still no pictures of that place. for me, it is a sort of strange mystery.

with all her ominous arches and ancient facades
so aptly named; chimes and smoke snake
their way along the interminable cobblestone -
what did you expect to find when you came here?

with all her famous artists and canals and smokeshops and the infamous red light district where all of our collective shame is brought to bear and made tangible.

like last time, i say i will never return; however, with no pictures, how can i not? perhaps there is something still here for me to find but the rain is a sign that says "not yet." so, i do not venture back there but croatia-ward once more for the islands and rocky beaches and happiness that will be found there. much has transpired but internally and externally and well, i do not wish to jinx myself for the last hours to be spent here in Den Haag, so i will not say anymore.