I'm sick, but of what?

This morning, early morning, half past 5AM, my train rolls slowly into Bucharest and wishing to forsake the city ASAP, I quickly decide on a "day" trip to Sighisiora, a small medieval city (Pearl of Transylvania as my Let's Go guide borrows the description) about four hours northwest of the capital. However, this "pearl" might as well have remained submerged as it is raining...(would the Romanians say "cats and dogs?")damn hard. Needing an umbrella but having purchased two in Europe and having had both stolen, I have not made a motivated effort to purchase another.

So I have ducked into an internet cafe to check any emails while the skies calm down. No emails from anyone and that has made me a little sad; however, I have realized that I am acting a little needy lately and the reason is, is that I have been feeling both homesick as well as "work"sick. The former is pretty self-explanatory while the latter may need some explanation and that is I feel that while traveling I haven't been working towards anything extremely productive except for seeing one place after another. Of course that is something worth writing home about but not enough to feel content. There needs to be something more...

About the being homesick...I could return home early, very early. Technically, I could probably be home be mid-August if I so wished and that long only because it would take so long to have a date of change and such only applies to certain flights. Did I say mid-August? I meant mid-July. Yet, I would just place myself back where I was, in Bloomington with approx. three weeks left of rent and then have to find another place to live. It would be a damn difficult transition. However, let's examine this further...all of my friends have moved on whether to grad schools in the fall or to jobs all over the country and some across the sea. I could work on my law school apps but then I would also have to find a job and could Bloomington provide one for me of sufficient means? I guess looking at my options upon return outside of law school would mean that I would have to create some for myself and fast.

However, I would lose the opportunity of going to Russia, going back to Croatia, working on my languages, possibly teaching English and seeing my friends in Singapore and where ever else they may end up. All the photography and journal writing and the stories that all of this will generate and the overall life experience that I have been seeking (as well as myself, too).

No journey is ever easy and the likelihood of stumbling is ever great and only increases as time grows.

Packing up and returning home would save me many dollars but it would quickly be business as usual. That is what I am trying to avoid.

The whole issue of being "work" sick or should I say "production" sick is just a matter of me finding motivation and inspiration. I have it all around but something isn't clicking and maybe it's been because I haven't been feeling all too well over the past few weeks. Even today, with the weather what it is, I don't feel so hot.

Give it another month and I will see how things are panning out. I may just go to Russia a few weeks early and then see how the treats me. If not, then to Singapore in mid October instead of Spring.